|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Sherlock Texting War 2Sherlock Texting War 2
SH: Never shopping with you again.
W: UNGLUE THE IGUANA!
W: Where are you, anyway?
SH: I'm hiding in a sandwich shop. Not telling you where.
W: You'll have to come out sooner or later.
SH: Mmmmmmm...No. Busy.
W: Uh huh. I bet in about 3 seconds you'll say you're bored.
SH: John, I'm bored.
W: Called it.
SH: Oh ha ha.
SH: I'm seriously never going shopping with you again.
SH: Did you get what I asked for?
W: Yes. Don't blow anything up.
SH: When have I ever blown anything up?
W: Tower of London.
SH: Not my fault! The stupid guard wouldn't let me in!
W: Bakery on the corner.
SH: Accident. Didn't think a flaming can of shaving foam could actually fly that far.
W: A taxi.
SH: Okay, yeah, that was on purpose. Who charges 20 pounds as a fare?
W: AND you lit me on fire!
SH: You have to admit, that was hilarious.
W: NO it wasn't.
W: And you're not in a sandwich shop, you're downstairs!
SH: About time you
Sherlock Texting War 6Sherlock Texting War 6
W: Hey, Sherlock, did you know there's a school named after you? Holmes Middle School.
SH: Is it smart?
W: Um, I didn't get a chance to talk to any of the students. (cause it's in freaking California...)
SH: No, the school! Do you think I could beat it in a contest of intelligence?
W: *sarcastic* You want me to take a brick from the school and see if you can beat it in IQ?
SH: YOU CAN DO THAT?!
W: Speaking of bricks, why is the iguana glued to a brick previously from the fireplace but currently in the fridge?
SH: I had nothing to do with that!
SH: Okay, yeah, it was me. Surprised, right? I mean, you'd have never thought that I'D do something like that!
Sherlock Texting War 7Sherlock Texting War 7
SH: John, have you seen the iguana recently?
SH: JOHN! I REACHED INTO THE PERSIAN SLIPPER AND THE IGUANA BIT MY THUMB! ALL MY TOBACCO IS GONE!!
W: Deal with it! (lolzlolzlolzlolzlolzlolz...)
SH: How do you smoke an iguana?!
W: ...(strange child...)
SH: Oh wait, this is your doing. You're getting revenge.
W: Contrary to popular belief, revenge is a dish best served with a side of humor and a warm feeling of satisfaction.
W: Why do you sound like you're thinking? And thinking so creepily?
SH: Oh, nothing.
SH: Anyways, can I ask you a question?
SH: How do you boil a parrot?
Sherlock Texting War 1SHERLOCK TEXTING WAR 1
SH: John, are you shopping?
W: Yes, and you just made me drop a frozen chicken on my foot.
W: And you know I'm shopping, I just asked you to run to the next aisle and grab fruit!
SH: I need you to grab some items.
W: And you can't grab them yourself...
SH: Thank you. I need 8 firecrackers, a bag of carrots, twelve purple jellybeans, some soap, a box of batteries, a chainsaw, and a very large pineapple.
SH: Oh good, you follow.
W:...I'm turning off my phone now.
SH: That's no use. I disabled the power button while you were leaning over to grab the cauliflower.
SH: I knew you wouldn't mind.
W: Sherlock, I'm going to kill you.
SH: Oh well, then you won't be able to remove the iguana I superglued to your bedroom ceiling.
W: I hope you're not standing next to a pineapple or some sort of very hard fruit, because I will come and hit you with whatever you're standing near.
SH: Running away now.
5 minutes later
Sherlock Texting War 3Sherlock Texting War 3
SH: There, I cleaned the flat! Are you happy now?
W: Cleaned it!! You chucked my computer out the window!
SH: Yes, and now we have a lot more space.
SH: Oh, deal with it.
W: Anyways, why are we texting each other if you're just downstairs?
SH: I'm tired. Don't want to talk. Boring.
SH: Do we have any food?
W: Sherlock. You BLEW UP THE FRIDGE.
SH: Oh yeah. Three firecrackers and a computer battery in the microwave. Good fun.
W: I forgot about the microwave. And I know you said you unglued the iguana...
W: But REGLUING IT IN MY SWEATER ISN'T AN IMPROVEMENT.
SH: I said I unglued it. I didn't say that either your or its conditions had improved any.
SH: And I removed the poker, moved the fruit, and hid all sharp objects that may cause me pain.
W: Why do I lodge here?
SH: Because you're an idiot.
W: I wasn't asking you!!
W: And WHY AM I ON FIRE AGAIN?!
SH: Heh. You shouldn't have bought me a blowtorch for Christmas.
Sherlock Texting War 4Sherlock Texting War 4
SH: There, I put the fire out.
SH: Oh, so you're not talking to me anymore?
SH: I unglued the iguana from your sweater.
W: AND NOW IT'S ON MY TOOTHBRUSH!!
SH: They're very hygienic.
W: You know, the iguana was supposed to be MY prank on YOU.
SH: Yes, and it backfired. Next question.
SH: Oh come on.
SH: You can't stay mad forever.
SH: Well, you actually can, but...that's a technicality!
SH: What if I promised to repair the flat?
SH: Yay, you're talking again!
W: ...you're not going to fix the flat, are you?
SH: PLEASE KEEP TALKING! BORED!
SH: I'll keep spamming you if you don't. I actually said please!
W: ALL RIGHT SHUT UP!!
W: I hate you.
SH: Better than nothing!
W: ...Well? What are you so desperate to talk about?
SH: You run the conversation, I'm bored.
W: Where are you?
SH: Blowing up the Capitol building.
W: WHAT??? AGAIN???
SH: Ha ha! Your face!
W: Sherlock- wait. How can
Sherlock Texting War 5Sherlock Texting War 5
SH: Okay, why am I in a store?
W: You walked there.
SH: Was I going to get something?
W: I gave you a list.
SH: Oh yeah!
SH: Twenty-three pounds of c4, eighty-three ounces of ounces of gunpowder, and a pack of Cherry Cokes.
W: No, the list said eggs, butter, milk-
W: Well, YOU try to live off gunpowder!
SH: Oh you're still mad about the explosives in your sandwich yesterday.
W: AND THERE'S AN IGUANA IN MY SOUP!
SH: I moved it again. You didn't seem very happy brushing your teeth with an iguana.
W: Who WOULD be?!
SH: Iguana brushers?
W: Sometimes I wonder about you, Sherlock. (Like why you're not in an institution...)
SH: Only sometimes?
W: *text not shown*
SH: Language, John!
W: You drive me to that Sherlock.
SH: You didn't answer the question.
W: *text not shown*
W: How's that?
SH: ...that's an interesting answer.
Sherlock Texting War 8Sherlock Texting War 8
W: Sherlock, I'm going to take a shower.
W: You just yelled 'Yes!' from the other room.
SH: Because it's about time.
W: *text not shown*
Five minutes later
W: THE IGUANA IS IN MY SHAMPOO BOTTLE!!
W: I'm texting you because you left the flat! COWARD!
SH: Hold on...laughing too hard to text...
W: WHAT THE *text not shown* DO YOU *text not shown* THINK YOU'RE *text not shown* *text not shown* *text not shown*?!?!?
Sherlock Texting War 10Sherlock Texting War 10
W: Sherlock, I'm home.
SH: Ah, good. I'm not quite sure where I am at the moment.
W: ...you're in the chimney.
SH: I was wondering why it was so sooty up here!
W: The iguana is sitting in the middle of the room and has a peculiar bulge at its stomach.
W: SHERLOCK WHERE IS MY STETHOSCOPE
SH: I'm pretty sure it's inside the iguana.
SH: Wait, are you lighting a fire?!
Mothers and Minuets Chp 2The next morning is a flurry. Sherlock actually slept last night and his body decided to take full advantage of that. So come 8:45; with the car arriving at 9:15, Sherlock is still in bed. John has been up since 7:00 shaving, showering and packing a few last minute odds and ends.
Noting that Sherlock has shown no signs of stirring he goes to wake him. Easier said than done. He tries everything. Patting him, shaking him, saying his name, shouting his name. He pulls the covers off, flicks the lights on and off to no avail. As 9:00 quickly approaches he's seriously considering dousing him with cold water.
Ping! The noise comes from his mobile and to his surprise bolts Sherlock wide awake.
"A text? Is it a case?" he demands, scrambling for his own phone resting on his nightstand. John is not even going to ask why a quiet text-chime was more effective than shouting and shaking; he's just glad Sherlock is up.
"Nope. That was mine." he says, digging his phone from his pocket.
Good luck t
Mothers and MinuetsEverything is coordinated and set in place.
John has Friday and Monday off from the clinic so they will have a four-day weekend. He is happy to finally be meeting the infamous Mummy. However there is a nagging nervousness he can't deny.
Not a "What if she doesn't like me" sort of nervousness. After all he's not a teenager anymore. Whether Ms. Holmes approves has little relevance on his relationship with Sherlock. This is more an unease because he doesn't know what to expect. This woman raised Mycroft and Sherlock so she must be one hell of a mother. And probably quite a character herself, if her son's are anything to go by.
Sherlock had referred to her a "cross between Mycroft and Ms Hudson".
What could that possibly mean? Those personalities are rather contradictory. Does he mean she's overbearing? Motherly to a suffocating degree? He has no idea what to expect.
And don't even get him started on the ball. After he convinced Sherlock to go he realized that he had no idea what he was ge
Getting Tedious Chp 3John; for his part isn't doing so well. He's having a hell of a time trying to wrap his mind around what occurred earlier. He's wandering the streets aimlessly replaying Sherlock's tirade in his head.
"Look at the way we work. Look at the way we live" "We fight for each other. We protect each other." "We need to stop lying to everyone, lying to ourselves and accept that fact that we are a couple!"
The words tumble around in his mind as he struggles to process them. One thing is for sure; he can't deny anything Sherlock said. No matter how hard he tried. And believe me he did. For a good half-hour actually. But it was in vain.
Re-examining his life since he met Sherlock; everything that had happened between them he began to realize why people assumed there was something going on between them. But there isn't. He is not gay. Strangely that seemed to have become his mantra since moving in with Sherlock. But it's true. He likes women. He'd been dating them since he was fifteen and never ha
His AngelIt's so cold here. So dark and empty in this hotel room. Desolation seems to seep from the very walls. Though perhaps it's him that's the source of the melancholy.
He's staying here for a while; probably two weeks. Maybe less,maybe more.
He can't go back hom- to the flat right now. It isn't home anymore. Not without him.The only reason it ever was home was because of him. Because that's where the two of them could exist with each other in contentment. Where they could simply be; without the world hovering over their shoulders. It's where he learned Sherlock;where Sherlock learned him. The one place they both allowed their walls to lower; for each other only.
It's been two days. Two days since the funeral. That was somehow worse than his death.
For John at least. He'd hated it; well he would have, if he had the energy to feel anything at all.
Everyone dressed in black; standing somberly in a quiet crowd. The clouds hanging heavy like their grief; until the weight became too much and rai
Wrong DeductionSherlock was sitting in the chair, holding a cuppa in one, a book in the other hand. He wasn't reading, but observing his flat mate who had fallen asleep on the couch. The television was showing a stupid show. No wonder John had fallen asleep, Sherlock thought. How could people possible want to watch something like that?
He was bored, but the idea popping up in his head didn't seem to be. A devilish grin appeared on Sherlock's face. It wasn't boring at all, to observe Johns reactions. Thinking about what he should do to him, Sherlock put away his tea and the book. Maybe he should blow up a paper bag near Johns ear? Sherlock decided not to, because he didn't want to wake him up. Oft enough his flat mate stayed up all night in order to help Sherlock with his work as a consulting detective.
Sherlock frowned. He didn't seem to come up with any good ideas that would allow John to keep on sleeping. Now he was annoyed, so he went in front of the couch as quiet as he could. Now he c
PaparazziSherlock had insisted on making me breakfast. I didn't trust him, considering he was doing an experiment at the same time. I made myself scrambled eggs on toast. I offered Sherlock some, but he snorted and went back to his experiment. I sat at the table, eating my breakfast and looking through the daily newspapers. I bit into my breakfast, hearing the crunch of the toast and feeling the warmth of the eggs in my mouth. I placed my finished newspaper aside and grabbed the other one. I almost had a heart attack as I read the front article.
"Sherlock! You'll want to see this!" I called out. I heard a moan and footsteps coming towards me.
"What is it John?" Sherlock asked.
"Look at the front cover article," I answered, handing the paper over to him. He frowned.
"Oh," he said. He handed it back to me. The front picture was a photograph of Sherlock and I kissing from a few nights ago. I remember that night; we were out on another date. We were madly in love, and it seemed the press knew too.
The Dirty GraveFollows my previous fic, The Empty Kitchen (link in the description below) but can be read as a standalone.
Mycroft pursed his lips with displeasure at the images that popped up in his email. FAKE, PSYCHO, and several other choice words were spray painted on the marble headstone and surrounding grass.
The man who was the British Government paused for a moment to study the woman sitting next to him before speaking. Her clothes were in an older woman's style, her hair done in a simple bun at the nape of her neck to accent the few natural grays that had sprouted. Tasteful. Comfortable. Completely unremarkable. Plain pearl earrings and a knotted pearl necklace. A silver charm bracelet with an old type font M.
He went through the list in his head of average names starting with M for women in their mid-thirties to early-forties. "Mary?"
"Minerva," she corrected without even looking up from her phone. He smiled pleasantly. A rarer name but very plain clothes: She w
Reactions - Getting Tedious SequelMrs. Hudson was the first to find out about their relationship.
Well maybe "find out" isn't quite the right term because that implies she's learning something she didn't already know. More like she had her suspicions confirmed.
Yeah, that's a better way of putting it.
It was around 10:00 on Monday morning and she knew they were due back soon. It's only been two days, but she missed her boys. They were a bit like sons to her and whenever they were gone the building seemed so empty and quiet. She misses the flurry and energy of the two of them dashing about solving crimes. She chuckles to herself at the thought; maybe she's been spending too much time around Sherlock.
She is sipping on her tea, trying to read the morning paper. I say trying because she's really to anxious to focus and half of her attention is directed outside so that she will hear the cab when they arrive. As the clock ticks towards 10:05 she hears the distinct hum of a cab pulling up in front of the building. They're ba
Sherlock Texting War 13Sherlock Texting War 13
SH: John, honestly.
SH: It has been TWO DAYS AND I'M STILL GLUED TO THE CHAIR.
SH: Really, this isn't funny.
W: IT SURE AS HELL IS FUNNY
SH: You know, the longer you leave me glued here, the more I can plot my revenge.
W: All the better to leave you up there.
W: And the same reason I'm not going up there at all.
SH: I will kill you.
W: Then what will you do with the iguana?
SH: What iguana?
SH: The glue is getting to my head.
SH: Wait, since when have I been glued to a chair?
W: ...I'm coming up.
SH: Am I upstairs?
LithiumA single trickling rain drop
Like gossamer silk strands
Gliding along my third eye
Whispers wind's secret caress
I exhale. Lungs releasing-
Pressing translucent memories;
Fragment of a fragment
As water kisses rose petal,
Drifting down stream's curtain
Pretty little curtain.
Where the wizard lies.
He smiles up at me
With his monocled brow-
Sipping on warm tea
And fingers quacking casually
To the rhythm of his notes
This is a safe-zone. Free-zone.
Innocent eyes sparkle,
Imploring it to be true. I breathe.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More